Many adoption proceedings are for stepparents. When a stepparent adopts their spouse’s child they are agreeing to financially support their spouse’s child and dismissing the non-custodial parent from any rights to the child. If you are thinking about adopting your stepchild here are some things to consider during the process:

• Who starts the process: It is up to the stepparent to start the adoption process and fill out the required paperwork to put the adoption in motion.
• How do you know if you are able to adopt your stepchild: In most cases of a stepparent adopting their spouse’s child in Georgia, the absent parent is either deceased or has abandoned their responsibilities as a parent including financially and by not maintaining a relationship with the child.  If the non-custodial parent has a regular relationship with the child and is maintaining their financial obligations you will have to get consent from them to adopt the child.
• Do the children have any say: In Georgia if the child is 14 years of age or older they have to consent in writing to the adoption.  
• Do you have to get approved to adopt the child: Before being granted legal custody as a stepparent you will have to pass a background check. The Department of Human Resources will also verify that the adoption is in the best interest of the child and conditions are going to be good for the child.

Before proceeding with an adoption it is important to consult a family law attorney to help you through the process.

Many couples decide to live together and have a child without getting married. If the relationship doesn’t last do the same rules apply for unmarried couples with children as married couples? The answer is no.  If a child is born out of wedlock child custody is handled differently than for couples that get divorced. Here are a few things for unmarried couples to keep in mind:

• Spousal Support: Unmarried couples are not entitled to spousal support in the same way divorced parents are.

The mother of the child can have the father arrested for abandonment if he does not provide financial support for the child.

• Mother’s Rights: If you decide to go your separate ways as unmarried parents the mother will automatically receive full physical child custody until you file a lawsuit to get the same rights.

• Proving Paternity: If the father decides to contest child support he can ask to prove paternity.

• Petition for Legitimation: If the father is looking to gain legal rights to the child and wants to have a relationship with the child he would file a petition for legitimation. This is done after you have proven paternity and allows you to exercise your rights as a father.

If you are an unmarried parent and need to establish a legal relationship with your child you should contact a family law attorney to discuss your rights and options.

Determining a child custody arrangement is often the most emotionally difficult part of a divorce. The court will order a custody arrangement based on the best interest for the child involved. So what are your options if you did not receive physical custody of your child and want to modify the custody arrangement? Here are some tips to modifying child custody orders.

• Proving a substantial change in circumstances adversely affecting the child is necessary: Be aware that modifying a child custody order is not an easy process. It is tall order to prove to the court that there is a substantial change in circumstances adversely affecting the child.
• Court does not have to grant you the modification: The court will ultimately want to keep stability and normalcy in the child’s life and has the right to deny the modification if they do not see adequate reason to remove the child from their current home.
• Children 14 and older: Children 14 years and older may state their desire for a change of custody and typically a court will honor that request, however there may still be a few hurdles to overcome in trying to prove to the court that the change is in the best interest for the minor.

It is important to speak with a family lawyer when considering modifying your child custody to fully understand your rights and how to handle the process to ensure you get the best outcome.

Many single parents may be surprised to find out that while the courts issued a child support order, it doesn’t always translate into receiving full payments on time. So what is a single parent supposed to do when they are not receiving child support payments from their “deadbeat” ex? Here are a few tips to help you get through this tough situation.

1. Do not treat the situation lightly: If you treat child support payments seriously, and as business transaction it will encourage the other parent treat the situation seriously as well. This is money you are legally owed and is important for you and your child’s future.
2. Keep records: It is best to keep records of every payment made to you and how much was made. It’s also important to give the other parent a receipt for every payment made. If you should have to go back to court to claim payments you have backed yourself with a paper trail of records.
3. Do not withhold visitation rights: If the other parent is not sending child support payments on time, do not try to withhold their visitation rights with the child. This is only going to get you in legal trouble. Withholding visitation can only be done if advised to you by a lawyer or judge.

The family law attorneys at Stearns-Montgomery & Proctor are used to this scenario. Legally, a person would need to file a Motion for Contempt against the offending party to rectify the situation. Contempt is defined by Georgia Divorce, Alimony and Child Custody as “a ‘willful’ refusal to comply with a judgment or order of the court.” A person is in contempt if he or she does not met the terms set by the Judge in a divorce case.

Besides legal action, if you’re dealing with a deadbeat ex, it’s critical to focus on you and your children’s needs. If possible embrace activities that make it easier to be a “lone” parent. Find support within your own community by joining weekend sports teams, camps, or scout troops.

Adopting a child is a big decision for a couple to make and the process is often long and grueling. Here are a few tips to make the process of adopting a child a little easier on you and your family.

Tips for Adopting

• Know all your options: It is important to consider all of your options and do your homework when considering adoption. Take into consideration adopting domestically as well as internationally, as there are different legal aspects to both.  Inter-family adoptions need special attention to timing.  A grandparent or a step-parent may not feel the need to move quickly when the biological parent isn’t taking responsibility, however if the biological parent changes his or her mind he or she has complete power to take the child at will, even if a Guardianship is in place.

• Be specific about what you are open to: Remember to be specific when talking to an adoption agency about what you and your spouse are capable of and open to handling. It is better to be specific and open with regard to a child with physical disabilities, health issues, mental issues relating to the child’s past, as well as race and gender.

• Have a support group: Adopting a child is a very emotional process and it is beneficial to have a strong support system around to keep your spirits up and encourage you not to give up if something goes differently than expected.  If you do not have immediate family for support, there are blogs and chat groups you can join to find support from other families going through the same process.

• Rely on a skilled family law attorney: An experienced adoption attorney will have the knowledge and the resources to help guide you through the adoption process.  A practiced family law attorney will understand how to overcome the myriad of obstacles in the adoption process.

• Give yourself realistic expectations: It is important to keep in mind that the child you are adopting might not be perfect. It may take the child some time to warm up or accept a new family. Adoptive children need unconditional love and reassurance that they are loved and you accept and support them no matter what before they feel safe and comfortable.

Adopting a child is extremely rewarding, and is an incredible act of compassion.  The adoption process can be logistically complicated at times, but a capable family law attorney can help navigate through some of the difficulty.

Being aware of your actions and words as a parent can single handedly alter the severity divorce has on a child.  From a legal perspective, the way a parent interacts with his or her child can influence child custody, visitation, and parental rights in Georgia. The courts are interested in determining which parent is acting in the best interest of a child, so it is imperative to act responsibly to protect your children’s emotions from the stresses of divorce. Here are a few suggestions of what not to say or do when communicating with your child about your divorce.

Avoid giving children too many “adult details”—It is important to consider your child’s age when speaking to him or her about your divorce. The majority of the time a child will not understand, nor do they need to know, if you are getting a divorce because of issues that relate to intimacy, money, abuse or addiction of any kind. It is best to leave the conversation as simple as possible with your child and not get into specifics.   Too many parents fall into the trap of thinking “hey my child asked me and I didn’t want to lie” and “I just wanted the child to know the truth” and “I didn’t think fast enough to think of something else to say”.  What you should say instead is “both your mom and your dad love you very much”.  And if you say it over and over again that will not hurt you, no matter how much you want to say something else.  As a matter of fact, watch closely as you say it and you will see the relief in the child’s body language.

Remind children that they still have a present mom and dad—Divorce can make a child feel like they are losing a parent, so it is imperative to express to a child that they will still have two parents present in their life.  Be sensitive, listen and make yourself available to discuss divorce in a mature way. Prove with your actions that you are present and available.

It’s not their fault—Reminding a child that they are not to blame for the divorce is essential to helping children cope with divorce. Children need to be reassured that they did not do anything wrong, and that divorce is an adult issue. Children tend to personalize divorce in many cases, so make it perfectly clear that they’re not at fault. 

Don’t ask them to choose sides—Asking a child to choose one parent over the other is not fair to the child and can result in resentment later on down the road. Furthermore, a court will tend to not give custody to the parent who is willfully jeopardizing the other parent-child relationship, as doing so is emotionally damaging.

Dogging out the other spouse- While going through a divorce is emotional, it is vital that the parents do not lash out at the other, or talk badly about each other in front of the children. It is unhealthy for the child to hear their mom or dad being called negative words by the other. Defaming your ex-spouse can also be held against you in court and can affect the outcome of a custody hearing.

When interacting with children, be merciful and kind, and remember that divorce is a problem between two adults.