Whether the decision to co-parent is a mutual decision between two parties or its decided by a judge, co-parenting is in the best interest of the children. While it may be hard to put aside bad feelings between you and your ex, it is important to consider what is best for any kids involved and put aside those feelings to work together with your ex. Here are some tips to help you make co-parenting successful.

• Communicate: While it may seem difficult at times it is important to keep an open, respectful line of communication between you and your ex-spouse. With the advent of emails and text you can easily control your emotions by reviewing your communications before they are sent.  During communication stick with talking about the kids and don’t bring up the past or argue.
• Consistency: When you are involved in a co-parenting situation the child is spending time with both parents. It is important for both parents to be on the same page when it comes to making important decisions. Try to keep a consistent schedule so the kids know when to expect to see each parent.  
• Adapting: It is common after a divorce that one or both parties will eventually move on and maybe enter into another relationship. It is important to learn to adapt to any new changes that might arise and help your child adapt as well.  
• Respect: Respecting each other as parents is extremely important for making co-parenting work. Do not bad mouth the other in front of your kids and don’t use the kids to get information about the other one. If your kids see you can be civil with your ex-spouse it will help them adjust better.

It is important that you review your co-parenting plan with an experienced Georgia divorce lawyer to make sure you didn’t miss anything. 

If you are considering filing for divorce or recently decided to get a divorce you may be wondering what is the difference between mediation and litigation and which one is right for you? Here are some pros and cons for mediation and litigation to help you decide which is the right one for you.

Mediation - using the services of a neutral, third party whose purpose is to help both spouses reach an agreement to the terms of their divorce.

Pros

• Mediation is a good alternative if you are trying to save money during the divorce process.
• The mediation process can move along more quickly than with litigation.
• You have more control over the outcome of the decisions made during mediation than you do in a courtroom.
• You have an opportunity to reach more creative solutions to problems than you would in a courtroom. You also have the ability to walk away if both parties cannot come to an agreement.

Cons

• Both parties have to agree to all terms and conditions for the case to end.
• If an agreement cannot be made you cannot get back any time or money you spent on mediation and will have to go through litigation.
• It is possible to get an inexperienced mediator that may negatively affect the outcome of mediation.

Litigation - the process of taking a case through court.

Pros

• If you are not satisfied with the outcome during litigation you can appeal the case.
• It may be a better option when emotional or physical abuse is involved.

Cons

• Litigation can easily become very expensive.
• Depending on the circumstances of the case, the case last for several months or years.
• Litigation can often further strain a relationship and may cause resentment.

To further understand the pros and cons of mediation and litigation and to determine what is right for you contact a family law attorney.

Determining a child custody arrangement is often the most emotionally difficult part of a divorce. The court will order a custody arrangement based on the best interest for the child involved. So what are your options if you did not receive physical custody of your child and want to modify the custody arrangement? Here are some tips to modifying child custody orders.

• Proving a substantial change in circumstances adversely affecting the child is necessary: Be aware that modifying a child custody order is not an easy process. It is tall order to prove to the court that there is a substantial change in circumstances adversely affecting the child.
• Court does not have to grant you the modification: The court will ultimately want to keep stability and normalcy in the child’s life and has the right to deny the modification if they do not see adequate reason to remove the child from their current home.
• Children 14 and older: Children 14 years and older may state their desire for a change of custody and typically a court will honor that request, however there may still be a few hurdles to overcome in trying to prove to the court that the change is in the best interest for the minor.

It is important to speak with a family lawyer when considering modifying your child custody to fully understand your rights and how to handle the process to ensure you get the best outcome.

Both parties can also come to an agreement to settle alimony expenses. 

If you are considering filing for divorce, or have already filed, it is important to protect yourself financially. Whether you were previously involved in managing your family’s finances or not, it is essential that you have an understanding of your financial situation prior to divorce. Here are 5 basic tips to help you financially prepare for divorce:

• Get up-to-date on family finances: In some households, one spouse may take the responsibility of bills and other finances. This may work when you are married, but if you are planning to file for divorce you need to be aware of your household’s financial status. Take some time to get acquainted with all expenses, debts obtained, income, investments and previous tax statements.
• Make copies of everything: Making copies of financial documents is necessary for protecting yourself in court. Take the time to get organized and make copies of any 401K statements, life insurance policies, house appraisals, tax returns, etc.
• Maintain your credit score: It is important for you to pull your credit score and clean it up as much as possible while you are still married. If not, you might run into some problems when you try to purchase or rent a house after divorce.

If you do not currently have a line of credit, it is important to establish one for yourself. You can do this by opening up a credit card in your name only; keep spending to a minimum, so you can pay it off right away.

• Get your own accounts: If you are planning on filing for divorce, it might be beneficial for you to open new bank accounts in your name only. If you continue to transfer money from your joint accounts to your personal account keep a record of every transaction for court.
• Create a budget for yourself: If you are planning on filing for divorce, you are preparing yourself for a lifestyle change. This is also true for your finances. After a divorce, you will be living off your salary alone.  It is important for you to understand what your cost of living will be.

Being aware of your actions and words as a parent can single handedly alter the severity divorce has on a child.  From a legal perspective, the way a parent interacts with his or her child can influence child custody, visitation, and parental rights in Georgia. The courts are interested in determining which parent is acting in the best interest of a child, so it is imperative to act responsibly to protect your children’s emotions from the stresses of divorce. Here are a few suggestions of what not to say or do when communicating with your child about your divorce.

Avoid giving children too many “adult details”—It is important to consider your child’s age when speaking to him or her about your divorce. The majority of the time a child will not understand, nor do they need to know, if you are getting a divorce because of issues that relate to intimacy, money, abuse or addiction of any kind. It is best to leave the conversation as simple as possible with your child and not get into specifics.   Too many parents fall into the trap of thinking “hey my child asked me and I didn’t want to lie” and “I just wanted the child to know the truth” and “I didn’t think fast enough to think of something else to say”.  What you should say instead is “both your mom and your dad love you very much”.  And if you say it over and over again that will not hurt you, no matter how much you want to say something else.  As a matter of fact, watch closely as you say it and you will see the relief in the child’s body language.

Remind children that they still have a present mom and dad—Divorce can make a child feel like they are losing a parent, so it is imperative to express to a child that they will still have two parents present in their life.  Be sensitive, listen and make yourself available to discuss divorce in a mature way. Prove with your actions that you are present and available.

It’s not their fault—Reminding a child that they are not to blame for the divorce is essential to helping children cope with divorce. Children need to be reassured that they did not do anything wrong, and that divorce is an adult issue. Children tend to personalize divorce in many cases, so make it perfectly clear that they’re not at fault. 

Don’t ask them to choose sides—Asking a child to choose one parent over the other is not fair to the child and can result in resentment later on down the road. Furthermore, a court will tend to not give custody to the parent who is willfully jeopardizing the other parent-child relationship, as doing so is emotionally damaging.

Dogging out the other spouse- While going through a divorce is emotional, it is vital that the parents do not lash out at the other, or talk badly about each other in front of the children. It is unhealthy for the child to hear their mom or dad being called negative words by the other. Defaming your ex-spouse can also be held against you in court and can affect the outcome of a custody hearing.

When interacting with children, be merciful and kind, and remember that divorce is a problem between two adults.