Child custody battles can often turn heated during an emotionally charged divorce. Your ex spouse may try to make you look bad to the judge in order to lessen your chances of receiving custody. Below are three tips to help protect yourself and prepare for anything that gets thrown at you during a child custody battle.

• Your role: During your custody hearing the judge may ask you question pertaining to your role in your child’s life. It is important that you be able to define your role and provide examples of how you impact the child’s life in a positive way.
• Keeping records: Documenting as much as possible is only going to help you during your custody hearing. Being able to provide records for financial support, how much time you spend with the child, participation in the child’s school activities and education are all going to be beneficial to you. 
• Don’t assume: Never walk into a court hearing assuming that you are going to be awarded custody because of financial status, gender or by pointing the finger at the other parent. 

It is extremely important to be prepared for a custody hearing as you may only have one chance to prove you are the best caregiver for your child. Always hire an experienced Marietta family law attorney before your child custody hearing.

Many adoption proceedings are for stepparents. When a stepparent adopts their spouse’s child they are agreeing to financially support their spouse’s child and dismissing the non-custodial parent from any rights to the child. If you are thinking about adopting your stepchild here are some things to consider during the process:

• Who starts the process: It is up to the stepparent to start the adoption process and fill out the required paperwork to put the adoption in motion.
• How do you know if you are able to adopt your stepchild: In most cases of a stepparent adopting their spouse’s child in Georgia, the absent parent is either deceased or has abandoned their responsibilities as a parent including financially and by not maintaining a relationship with the child.  If the non-custodial parent has a regular relationship with the child and is maintaining their financial obligations you will have to get consent from them to adopt the child.
• Do the children have any say: In Georgia if the child is 14 years of age or older they have to consent in writing to the adoption.  
• Do you have to get approved to adopt the child: Before being granted legal custody as a stepparent you will have to pass a background check. The Department of Human Resources will also verify that the adoption is in the best interest of the child and conditions are going to be good for the child.

Before proceeding with an adoption it is important to consult a family law attorney to help you through the process.

1. Protect your business: If you have your own business you might consider a postnuptial agreement in order to protect the life of your business in the event a divorce does occur.
2. Fighting about finances: If you and your spouse begin to argue about finances you might consider a postnuptial agreement. Putting this agreement in place can protect both parties if the relationship ends in divorce. A postnuptial agreement may also relieve some of the tension involving money in the household.
3. Revising a prenuptial agreement: You may already have a prenuptial agreement in place but after getting married one spouse’s income or assets may drastically increase and you want to alter your prenuptial agreement to reflect the change.

In order for a postnuptial agreement to be enforceable in Georgia the court will look at these three standards:

• Was the agreement acquired through fraud, duress or mistake? Did either party supply misinformation or insufficient information regarding the marriage?
• Is the contract made for unethical reasons?
• Have facts changed since the agreement was made, making the agreement now unfair?

Note: In Georgia both parties should have legal representation to make a postnuptial agreement enforceable. Consult with your spouse and an attorney before entering into a postnuptial agreement.

Being aware of your actions and words as a parent can single handedly alter the severity divorce has on a child.  From a legal perspective, the way a parent interacts with his or her child can influence child custody, visitation, and parental rights in Georgia. The courts are interested in determining which parent is acting in the best interest of a child, so it is imperative to act responsibly to protect your children’s emotions from the stresses of divorce. Here are a few suggestions of what not to say or do when communicating with your child about your divorce.

Avoid giving children too many “adult details”—It is important to consider your child’s age when speaking to him or her about your divorce. The majority of the time a child will not understand, nor do they need to know, if you are getting a divorce because of issues that relate to intimacy, money, abuse or addiction of any kind. It is best to leave the conversation as simple as possible with your child and not get into specifics.   Too many parents fall into the trap of thinking “hey my child asked me and I didn’t want to lie” and “I just wanted the child to know the truth” and “I didn’t think fast enough to think of something else to say”.  What you should say instead is “both your mom and your dad love you very much”.  And if you say it over and over again that will not hurt you, no matter how much you want to say something else.  As a matter of fact, watch closely as you say it and you will see the relief in the child’s body language.

Remind children that they still have a present mom and dad—Divorce can make a child feel like they are losing a parent, so it is imperative to express to a child that they will still have two parents present in their life.  Be sensitive, listen and make yourself available to discuss divorce in a mature way. Prove with your actions that you are present and available.

It’s not their fault—Reminding a child that they are not to blame for the divorce is essential to helping children cope with divorce. Children need to be reassured that they did not do anything wrong, and that divorce is an adult issue. Children tend to personalize divorce in many cases, so make it perfectly clear that they’re not at fault. 

Don’t ask them to choose sides—Asking a child to choose one parent over the other is not fair to the child and can result in resentment later on down the road. Furthermore, a court will tend to not give custody to the parent who is willfully jeopardizing the other parent-child relationship, as doing so is emotionally damaging.

Dogging out the other spouse- While going through a divorce is emotional, it is vital that the parents do not lash out at the other, or talk badly about each other in front of the children. It is unhealthy for the child to hear their mom or dad being called negative words by the other. Defaming your ex-spouse can also be held against you in court and can affect the outcome of a custody hearing.

When interacting with children, be merciful and kind, and remember that divorce is a problem between two adults.