Whether the decision to co-parent is a mutual decision between two parties or its decided by a judge, co-parenting is in the best interest of the children. While it may be hard to put aside bad feelings between you and your ex, it is important to consider what is best for any kids involved and put aside those feelings to work together with your ex. Here are some tips to help you make co-parenting successful.

• Communicate: While it may seem difficult at times it is important to keep an open, respectful line of communication between you and your ex-spouse. With the advent of emails and text you can easily control your emotions by reviewing your communications before they are sent.  During communication stick with talking about the kids and don’t bring up the past or argue.
• Consistency: When you are involved in a co-parenting situation the child is spending time with both parents. It is important for both parents to be on the same page when it comes to making important decisions. Try to keep a consistent schedule so the kids know when to expect to see each parent.  
• Adapting: It is common after a divorce that one or both parties will eventually move on and maybe enter into another relationship. It is important to learn to adapt to any new changes that might arise and help your child adapt as well.  
• Respect: Respecting each other as parents is extremely important for making co-parenting work. Do not bad mouth the other in front of your kids and don’t use the kids to get information about the other one. If your kids see you can be civil with your ex-spouse it will help them adjust better.

It is important that you review your co-parenting plan with an experienced Georgia divorce lawyer to make sure you didn’t miss anything. 

Many couples decide to live together and have a child without getting married. If the relationship doesn’t last do the same rules apply for unmarried couples with children as married couples? The answer is no.  If a child is born out of wedlock child custody is handled differently than for couples that get divorced. Here are a few things for unmarried couples to keep in mind:

• Spousal Support: Unmarried couples are not entitled to spousal support in the same way divorced parents are.

The mother of the child can have the father arrested for abandonment if he does not provide financial support for the child.

• Mother’s Rights: If you decide to go your separate ways as unmarried parents the mother will automatically receive full physical child custody until you file a lawsuit to get the same rights.

• Proving Paternity: If the father decides to contest child support he can ask to prove paternity.

• Petition for Legitimation: If the father is looking to gain legal rights to the child and wants to have a relationship with the child he would file a petition for legitimation. This is done after you have proven paternity and allows you to exercise your rights as a father.

If you are an unmarried parent and need to establish a legal relationship with your child you should contact a family law attorney to discuss your rights and options.

Being aware of your actions and words as a parent can single handedly alter the severity divorce has on a child.  From a legal perspective, the way a parent interacts with his or her child can influence child custody, visitation, and parental rights in Georgia. The courts are interested in determining which parent is acting in the best interest of a child, so it is imperative to act responsibly to protect your children’s emotions from the stresses of divorce. Here are a few suggestions of what not to say or do when communicating with your child about your divorce.

Avoid giving children too many “adult details”—It is important to consider your child’s age when speaking to him or her about your divorce. The majority of the time a child will not understand, nor do they need to know, if you are getting a divorce because of issues that relate to intimacy, money, abuse or addiction of any kind. It is best to leave the conversation as simple as possible with your child and not get into specifics.   Too many parents fall into the trap of thinking “hey my child asked me and I didn’t want to lie” and “I just wanted the child to know the truth” and “I didn’t think fast enough to think of something else to say”.  What you should say instead is “both your mom and your dad love you very much”.  And if you say it over and over again that will not hurt you, no matter how much you want to say something else.  As a matter of fact, watch closely as you say it and you will see the relief in the child’s body language.

Remind children that they still have a present mom and dad—Divorce can make a child feel like they are losing a parent, so it is imperative to express to a child that they will still have two parents present in their life.  Be sensitive, listen and make yourself available to discuss divorce in a mature way. Prove with your actions that you are present and available.

It’s not their fault—Reminding a child that they are not to blame for the divorce is essential to helping children cope with divorce. Children need to be reassured that they did not do anything wrong, and that divorce is an adult issue. Children tend to personalize divorce in many cases, so make it perfectly clear that they’re not at fault. 

Don’t ask them to choose sides—Asking a child to choose one parent over the other is not fair to the child and can result in resentment later on down the road. Furthermore, a court will tend to not give custody to the parent who is willfully jeopardizing the other parent-child relationship, as doing so is emotionally damaging.

Dogging out the other spouse- While going through a divorce is emotional, it is vital that the parents do not lash out at the other, or talk badly about each other in front of the children. It is unhealthy for the child to hear their mom or dad being called negative words by the other. Defaming your ex-spouse can also be held against you in court and can affect the outcome of a custody hearing.

When interacting with children, be merciful and kind, and remember that divorce is a problem between two adults.